I’m not looking to jinx myself, but the living really is pretty easy.

I’m sitting under my $34.99 Christmas Tree Shoppe umbrella and sweating through every stitch of clothing I have on.

This is not a complaint. It’s just fact.

But also, it is so hot and sunny that I have to sit under the umbrella or hide inside with the air conditioner on and the blinds drawn. That, my friends, is a miracle.

Matt and his father are framing out the space for the new barn floor, and it seems like every time they set aside a day to dusk-till-dawn work, it is a bazillion degrees out. I feel badly about this. We should be at camp  (and by this I mean I want to be at camp and I want all of us to pick up and go and I feel the teeniest bit guilty that my tiny work ethic only kicks in only when it is raining or snowing, but really those are good times to lay around and read, too).


Someone, thankfully, gave the Panther a new home.
Someone, thankfully, gave the Panther a new home.




My flowers are blooming. Between the frequent appearance of a green John Deere and some helping hands and flowers appearing on my doorstep, it is easy to make the call that we have the best neighbors ever. We get annuals from one side, perennials from the other. As the annuals are blooming now, I’m operating under the assumption that the flowers will not still be in bloom for our September wedding. Oh, well. That’s what supermarket flowers are for. But look at our gardens now:







I spy . . . four rows of greens. Note to self: next year, diversify.


I just dropped my baby off at music camp (keep your band camp jokes to yourself, thanks. I can’t handle it!) for his first overnight camp. I realized, with every step I took, that it would be five measly years before I did this, moved him into a college dorm, for real. Holy Holy Holy Shit.

Colby and I did get a good dose of time together today; we waited in an hour’s worth of lines for registration, drove back and forth across campus, moved him into his dorm, met his roommate, had lunch, and sat through the full-group (kids – behave, parents – don’t worry) meeting. We simultaneously realized that we were about halfway through July. And then we didn’t mention it again. Please summer, just stay. Please kid-version of Colby, just stay.

This is what we’ve done so far this summer:

I schedule stuff, drink coffee, and check email. This is how I look 50% of the day.
I schedule stuff, drink coffee, and check email. This is how I look 50% of the day.


Watching fast cars and funny people.
Watching fast cars and funny people.
We swim with friends. Colby likes babies (understatement of the year).
We swim with friends. Colby likes babies (understatement of the year).



And we swim elsewhere.
More on this local 'beach' later.
More on this local ‘beach’ later.
United Methodist Strawberry Festival. . I ❤ cheek pinchers. Really, I’m serious!
Chard pie with savory herb crust
Chard pie with savory herb crust
Oriechiette with chard, chickpeas, and smoked gouda
Oriechiette with chard, chickpeas, and smoked gouda
Turkey Lurkey!
Turkey Lurkey!
Swiss Chard Pizza - I'm sensing a theme here.
Swiss Chard Pizza – I’m sensing a theme here.

This week, more of the same. I have recipes for all of the above (up soon). Do any of you have chard/sturdy green recipes for me? I’m running out of ideas.


Catch ‘n Release: We Go Phishin’

Colby and his show moms
Colby and his show moms

All parents know that they should play with their kids. This is what play looks like when they are nearly teenagers:





The first set was unbelievable – especially for a tour-opening show. Our faces hurt from smiling (and every part of my 32-year-old body hurts from dancing).

Phish July 3, Bangor ME from Heather J Webb on Vimeo.

little too much flash, mom?
little too much flash, mom?



Second set was different, but still good. Set list is here. Harry Hood encore was awesome, but I was so very tired. Colby gave me a piggyback so I could see the stage and it felt like a million bucks.



This was a fun game for a little bit. Especially the part where Colby would throw the ball at me and I would hit it with my head like a dolphin . . . Our friend Erika was hit in the crossfire many, many times.

I am the walrus?
I am the walrus?

Would you have gone ANYWHERE (willingly) with your parents at 12? I’m not sure I would have. This fact was in my head all.night.long. After we finally made it through the cattle-shute exit gate we took our tired feet (except for Colby – nothing on that kid was tired which only served to emphasize our collective ages and lameness) to McD’s.

I am a lucky, tired, and grateful mama.

An Open Letter to the Note-Leaver at Target

Why thank you, dear, for the suggestion that I be more careful and respectful of others. I am so sorry your door was dented.


When I parked there were at least two spaces on each side of my car. I remember thinking, “This is the perfect time of day to go to Target! I can park as close as I want and no one is even near me!”. Then I joked with my kid, with whom I was having one of those rare and sparkly days when we were both happy and joking even though I had the kind of menstrual-induced crankiness that would make me drop-kick Santa Claus in the face. That we were having a great day in the face of my mood is, without hyperbole, a miracle.

You sea donkey fuck stick moron.

If I knew who you were, or what kind of car you drove, I would leave you this note:


You presumed without fact, and it nearly ruined my day.

Without watching the security cameras, it is impossible to know who parked beside you or when they arrived and departed.

I can only assume that you are the kind of person who believes that everything

is the fault of another. I’m sorry for that. It must be an unpleasant way of being. Stressful, I imagine, and frustrating.

Please don’t assume when you don’t know.

Also be careful of what you say, and kinder to others.

And yes, my tendency to let the opinions of others govern my emotions and moods is completely unhealthy. I’m working on it. I don’t expect any improvement for awhile though, because all of my mental energy is being used in my quest to not sleep away my entire summer. This means that I am rising early, and I don’t like it yet.

xoxo bitches. I’m making more coffee.

The Best First Day

My intrepid summer partner, Angie, and I kicked off summer vacation today with a trip to the lake.

I’m not the most graceful person I know, so I was nervous about learning how to stand up paddle board. I was surprised at how quickly I got the hang of it, though. I could spend my whole summer in one!

Once we returned I informed my father-in-law that we needed to rent a pair to try out to camp. He agreed, and I think he’ll be pleased!







Hope you all are enjoying some sunshine!

Father’s Day Wrap-Up





Matt and I went to the Hot Rods day at Owl’s Head Transportation museum today. It was awesome- the bus picture here was one of my favorites.

Although I am always thinking about the amount of parenting Matt does (without the official title), I thought of it even more today.

We fished off Rockland’s breakwater after the car show, and then met my family at a local lobster pound. We wrapped up our day with a trip to see his parents. I had an allergic reaction while we were out and about and had to make an emergency Benadryl purchase.

Now I am in bed, talking to all of you. I’m puffy, itchy, and so so grateful for the dads in my life.

I Don’t Make This Shit Up

You know you’ve wondered – in the English suite, over drinks, at Thanksgiving -whether or not all of my stories are true.  Well, see this one for yourself.

Matt caught a groundhog. We relocated him to City Forest in an effort to preserve our vegetable garden.

in transit
in transit

Matt sang a song about rodent poop the whole way over.



a new home
a new home

Dirk Daniels Catch ‘n Release from Heather J Webb on Vimeo.

Matt/Dirk Sets the Groundhog Free from Heather J Webb on Vimeo.


Oh, dear.

I think I am a flower

hello, friends.

I feel myself sprouting and growing and greening up just like the tomato plants in my garden. I’ve been productive and focused and happy. I want to be my summer person all year round. Maybe I have chlorophyll instead of blood?

Just look at this:

Screen shot 2013-06-01 at 9.47.21 PM

I woke up at 5 a.m. today, so I was outside with Matt by 8. We sweated gardened for  most of the day. Did I tell you we have the most wonderful neighbors? They are retired now, but ran a nursery and now share resources and knowledge with us. Anyway.

I capped my day off with drinks and dinner with a colleague just as evening rolled in.

I’ll be back with pictures tomorrow.

Sleep tight.